My son’s birthday is one day after valentines day.  This means every February we have big celebrations, not just at home, but at school, with friends, with family.

Valentines celebrations include gifts of candy from friend, from family.  In class parties with cupcakes and cookies.  Birthday celebrations also include cake and ice cream.  In a two day span, our family sugar intake rivals that of Halloween!

So, what have I learned to do to offset the chaos of these two holidays?  Well, I hide as much of the evidence as I can - out of sight, out of mind works wonders.

I’ve also realized that sharing the birthday cake with friends and neighbours is a great strategy for eliminating leftovers (that out of sight things works here as well).

But, most importantly, I try to remember that most of the time, we have fruit for dessert, and that once (ok, several ) times a year, we have an onslaught.  I think that’s ok.

This year, with Halloween being on a Saturday, we decided it would be fun to host an open house.  So, we sent out invitations, cleaned up the place, and put some treats out, planned some fun games, cleared out the living room to make way for dancing, mixed up a sound track for dancing, hooked up the microphone for singing, decorated the inside and outside of the house, and got ready.

Working full time and having a full week of activities the week prior to Halloween (night school classes for the adults, halloween movie night at school) made it difficult to get everthing prepared.  So Saturday morning was going to be the final push for party planning.  That is, until I learned that my son was getting the chance to play goalie in his house league.  So, friday night, as I’m eyeing my unmopped floors, and the heaps of books and papers stacked on the kitchen table, my son learned the news, joyful, and excited.  “Mom, you’re gonna come and watch me, right?”  How could I say no?  How could having a perfectly clean house, halloween themed snacks take precedence over the game.  So, I made the choice to go to the game, rushed out to the grocery store for some pre-made items to bake at the last minute, and plugged in one of those oil based diffusers to help give the impression of cleanliness - and wine for the adults.

So, how did it go?  It went fine.  Of course, the kids weren’t interested in dancing or playing any of the clever halloween themed games I had lined up.  They were more interested in running around and playing with each other.  The adults, well they enjoyed some wine (and beer) and I served them my warm h’ourdeuvres (told them shamelessly with a wink I had made them all from scratch).  And in the end, we had a chance to visit with our friends and neighbours.

And I got the chance to remember what is really important in life.  Pretty good Halloween.

My son is competitive - I beleive this is  a gentic trait (must have skipped a generation).  And Halloween has become a type of contest for him.  He is a child who enjoys candy, but can wait to eat them.  His good friend, who he went out trick or treating with last year, was eager to go out together again this year.  We had to warn her.  Are you sure you want to go together?, I asked her.  Last year, as she was busy chatting with friends on the street, taking time out for a quick sample of her treats, my son forged on, leaving her and her father behind in his quest for candy.

This year, she was prepared. You see, she realized from last year, that with some focus, and the spirit of a marathoner, she too could collect vast amounts of candy.  Last year’s count, for my son was 217.  I don’t doubt that was the number, my kid has a good memory for these things.  So this year, the competition was on.  So, as the streets darkened,  off they went, in search of candy.  And search they did.  After about an hour, they stopped off for a quick pee break and to off load  their spoils.  Then off for another hour.  The last part of the trip (likely premeditated trick or treat route by the fathers) was on a street where the houses are located on a hill - to reach the door and the treat, kids must climb at least 40 steps.  Often the rewards are great, as there are few who dare to scale such heights in search of a mini candy bar.  One place, reportedly gave my son 7 tootsie rolls.  I think he remembered this from last year, because while his friend opted to go to every other house, my son faithful made his way up each and every stairway. 

But for all that effort, he was rewarded.  267 pieces of candy.  His joy was matched only by the careful categorization of the treats, competition for which pile laid out carefully side by side would win for the longest. The lollipops had it in the end, but the chips were a front runner until the very end. 

In our house, the joy of trick or treating culminating in victory. 

My only concern is how to sustain this - certainly there must be a limit.  And don’t get me started on the fact that probably me and my husband will end up eating most of it.  The true joy for my son has already been achieved.

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Ok, we all say we will make time to see our friends, but life is busy and who has the time to catch up with everyone?  For me, sometimes as much as a year can go by in between actual visits with my friends. But recently I have discovered a  solution – host a dinner party.  This way you can invite some of your good friends, get caught up, have fun and do it all in one evening. 

Sound like too much work – well, I won’t lie, it does take a certain amount of planning and getting organized.   I wanted to make sure my bathroom was clean and there were no sticky things on the floor, so yes, I had to commit to a bit of cleaning.

Hard to feed carnivores?  Not at all.  If you are like me, you don’t have a lot of vegetarian friends (I have one).  However,  I knew my friends would be open to a vegetarian feast.

Worried about breaking the bank?  No need.  A vegetarian diet could save the word from starvation.  I decided on a mezze-tapas style dinner.  I didn’t want to be in the kitchen cooking the whole time, so I decided to offer things that could be prepared in advance.   While I did have some store bought items for the party, I made most of the things, which I think made the food even better.  Here is a rundown of the menu.

Hummus, Babaganoush, Tzaziki,  lentil salad – all made a few days in advance – easy, economical, and so, so much better than store bought.

Spinach filo triangles – super easy – really –and I make these a week in advance, froze them, and then baked them the night of the dinner – this was the only thing I had to cook during the party.

Home- made cookies made the week before.

Things I had to buy – nuts, salad, fresh bread, pitas, great olives and artichokes and roasted red peppers, cheese, and fruit for dessert

Really, other than being organized in advance, it didn’t take as much time as I thought.  The most important thing for me was that the payoff for my efforts was so worthwhile -  a great evening with my girl friend, lots of laughter and some great memories. 

And one last essential item – once you get a glass of wine into your guests, light some candles and dim the lights and let the party begin!! 

I’m a ‘sit by the sidelines and try to keep up with the action on the field type’ of person.  And usually, I’m in good company.  We’re talking U7 boy’s league here – coaches are parent volunteers.  No tryouts, everyone plays a shift, and they all take turns being goalie.  No stress right?  Well, this year, we have one couple who should have volunteered to be coaches because they obviously know how the game should be played better than everyone else.  During each game they shout out instruction at the kids, “hey, number six, get moving, number 13, don’t let him get past you!”  I know this isn’t a new phenomenon, just an irritating one.  “Man, the coach is mute today, he sure isn’t helping the kids” the mother of the couple remarked a few weeks ago. 

Last week, while standing at the ice cream truck, the mother spotted my son’s jersey behind her in line, and started talking about how the kids need to be closer to some line or else they were going to get creamed every game and that was just too much for the kids, they will get upset if they keep losing.  I don’t really know the rules so well, so I’m sure she figured I was just an idiot as I stood looking at her, with a confused look on my face, as much to try to understand what rule she was talking about, and why she was so concerned.

Then this week, the father made his presence known, as he was pacing up and down the sidelines (I say this generously – there are actually no ‘lines’, just a field in a local park.)  “Get the ball, pay attention, why didn’t you kick it!”  It is easy to spot the unfortunate off-spring of this aggressive couple; he’s the one with the miserable look on his face, the one having the least amount of fun.

My incredibly competitive son is in the game to win – he gets upset when they lose, but is often easily appeased by his loss with a chocolate dipped soft serve, topped with sprinkles.  This week, however, he had a great game, he scored three goals, and beaming with joy, ran up to me during half-time and told me he felt magic.  It was like he couldn’t lose.  More importantly, he was having fun, beyond fun actually, he was playing a game he loved and enjoying the thrill of being the ‘MVP’ of the game for his team.  And all I did was cheer and give him the thumbs up each time he raced away from scoring a goal, his fisted hands pumping up into the air. 

While the crazy sideline parents were ruining their child’s game, they couldn’t put a damper on my son’s experience.  And really, his joy and continued desire to play is all that I care about.  I guess I can’t be sheltered forever from those loud and aggressive coach-parents forever.

My parents have a place in Florida, a modest, unassuming bungalow, not far from the beaches along the St. Petersburg/Clearwater area.  My son, who has been 15 times in his short 7 years, refers to it as the Florida cottage.  For the first time, we visited Florida in the summer, July to be exact, just before the fourth of July festivities.   Now, I’m fron the Northeast, and I’m used to hot, humid weather.  But maybe becasue we had such a cool spring, the shock of the overwhelming hot humidity of Florida took my breath away. 

My son, impervious to heat and cold, loved it.  He’s the prodigal grandson, the only grandson who shares a passion for fishing with his grandfather.  So every day, many times each day, the two of them would go fishing.  And everyday, they would bring back a fish, clean it, and fry it for dinner.  Every day. 

Most people would be happy that their children like to eat fish.  And I must say, I’m proud that my son is well aware that the fish on his dinner plate was once alive, and had a head and eyes and fins.  He has no illusions, no nondescript fishsticks for him.  He likes the real thing.

My challenge was that he was a bit insulted that I wouldn’t join him in eating the fish.

“Mom, don’t you say it is important to eat lots of different foods?  Don’t you always tell me that I have to eat what is being served?  Don’t I always have to eat the vegetables you serve? Why don’t you like fish?  Please, just try to eat a bit of it, I caught it and it is really good?’

So, there I was, trying to rationalize my vegetarian lifestyle to my carnivore (wait, is that what they call fish eaters too?) son.  I think I knew what he was trying to do, and I have in the past tried a bite, to show him I was a good sport and to apease him - but to be honest, I really had no desire to eat the fish this time!

So, we debated the first few days, the following few days I lectured him on the difference between my food choices and his,  and for the last few days (we were there 10 days) I finally told him I didn’t want to discuss it anymore.

I think that may qualify as a less than stellar performance as a parent, but the way I see it, I can’t be always on the ball.  Sometimes, it should be ok to just cut off the conversation, right? 

So, I did survive the hot weather of a Florida vacation in the summer, and I also survived the ethical debate with my son about why I choose not to eat certain foods.  I have a feeling this may be the begining of many future discussions about food.  I’m sure I’ll be as unprepared and akward as I was this time, but you know, it’s hard to teach an old vegetarian new tricks!

I like to create annual traditions with my son, our own personal traditions that don’t  come with a hallmark card, or mandatory gift giving, candy supplying, flower forwarding obligation - something that helps us mark time and seasons and our life together.

One of my favourite traditions is our strawberry picking/jam making tradition.  And this year, strawberry season began around June 20^th.  Of course, I am picky about what we eat, and knowing how much pesticide is used in commercial strawberry production, I will only pick organic strawberries.  We have a favourite place, not too close to town, but worth the drive – it takes only a ½ day to go, pick, eat, relax and come home, but our effort and time commitment is well worth the wait. 

I wanted to go today, but called the update hotline number for our farm (highly recommend doing this with any pick-your-own farm as crop availability can be highly unpredictable) and they were closed to allow the fruit to ripen. They didn’t clarify if this was a short term or long term proposition – so I’ll have to check again tomorrow.

Until then, we will just dream about the incredible taste and aroma of the berries we hope to pick soon.

Today, I ran out of creative ideas – so  I decided this was also a good time to start clearing out my freezer.  I am so good at not throwing away my leftovers – well, at least I often prolong the delay of throwing them out – usually months later as I’m digging through my freezer to clean it out.  So today we had leftover tuna and veggies for lunch and then frozen lasagne for dinner. Not too bad.  Now, I think I said I was going to try this experiment for a week – but really I can only commit to 5 days as we are going to the cottage this weekend, and I’m so not sure what we are planning – we will probably have to cook something inside and will have friends over, so I’m not sure they will enjoy all this ‘experimentation’.  I think this is a good thing.  I learned that I need to be creative about how we eat, and not always rely on the same things every day.  Shaking things up helped me keep my house cool, learn that boiling water on a propane bbq is not a good idea, and that I can always open up my freezer for dinner options.

Breakfast was easy – cereal and yogurt – lunch I made tuna sandwiches for my son and I just had hummus on mine.  So, not too bad – in 4 days I haven’t used my stove, and it’s been really nice, considering we are going through a heat wave!  I keep trying to balance the need for cooking meat and finding things I can cook on the grill – so tonight we had grilled pork chops and potatoes, with salad from the garden – I put on a tofu sausage for myself.  Not too bad – fruit for dessert.  This is working out pretty well.